4 When Mordecai learned of all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the city, wailing loudly and bitterly. 2 But he went only as far as the king’s gate, because no one clothed in sackcloth was allowed to enter it. 3 In every province to which the edict and order of the king came, there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting, weeping and wailing. Many lay in sackcloth and ashes.
4 When Esther’s eunuchs and female attendants came and told her about Mordecai, she was in great distress. She sent clothes for him to put on instead of his sackcloth, but he would not accept them. 5 Then Esther summoned Hathak, one of the king’s eunuchs assigned to attend her, and ordered him to find out what was troubling Mordecai and why.
6 So Hathak went out to Mordecai in the open square of the city in front of the king’s gate. 7 Mordecai told him everything that had happened to him, including the exact amount of money Haman had promised to pay into the royal treasury for the destruction of the Jews. 8 He also gave him a copy of the text of the edict for their annihilation, which had been published in Susa, to show to Esther and explain it to her, and he told him to instruct her to go into the king’s presence to beg for mercy and plead with him for her people.
Dear God, I wonder how responsible Mordecai was feeling for all of this. I know he was distressed about him and his people losing their lives, but how much of his “wailing loudly and bitterly” was over the fact that he was the one who had caused Haman to do this? If he had had it to do over again, would he have bowed down to Haman instead of resisting? If he had bowed down in the first place, would Esther’s name be lost to history?
Sometimes we decide to take a stand in our lives with or without the knowledge of what the consequences of that stand will be. I make a stand with my children that they don’t like. I know I am doing it for their good, but it will anger them to not get their way in that given instance. What will be the result of that anger? Will they submit to my authority or will it plant a spirit of rebelliousness in their hearts? George W. Bush decided to draw a line in the sand after 9-11 and say that the United States would stop being defensive in nature in terms of responding to terrorists, and instead become offensive. While that decision has kept further attacks from happening on our soil, there have certainly been consequences to that decision.
Father, I guess my thing is that I want to make good, informed decisions as much as I can, but in the times when there is no way for me to know the consequences of my actions, I want to be able to tap into your wisdom and discernment. I am in no way suggesting that what Mordecai did in not bowing to Haman was the wrong thing to do. I am only saying that it hd consequences and you provided for those consequences. You provided Esther before the issue even arose. So I ask that you will guide me and save me from my own foolishness. Protect me from my mistakes and selfishness. Use my life how you will.
Emails to God 