Gen 22:15-Gen 22:19 NIV The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, “I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed…
Dear God, this is the “My Utmost for His Highest” verse of the day, but it takes me back to the passage before it where you tell Abraham to sacrifice Isaac in the first place. Chapter 22 starts by saying that you “tested” Abraham. Is that what some of the struggles I’ve had have been? Tests? If so, I’m not angry about it–even though I’ve experienced some of the worst pain of my life the last few years. As I sit here, I’m okay with the idea with the idea that they were tests. Actually, my thought is, I hope I did okay.
You gave Abraham a promise and I believe that you tested him in this way because he had begun to put more hope in that promise than he surrendered to you. He received the promise of descendants because of his devotion to you, but then you made him put that promise on the altar. No more Isaac, no more descendants with Sarah. Only Ishmael would be left which would be something but not fulfilling the original promise. Did he need a physical reminder that you are his God? Did the last eight years of my life serve the same purpose in some way? Are some of the struggles I’m still experiencing still teaching me to look to you daily?
Father, I’m not asking for any tests, but I submit myself to whatever you have for me. I almost just typed that I can’t think of any promises you ever made to me, but that’s not true. There are times in the last two years that I’ve told friends that there were certain protections I expected from you in return for my prayers, worship, and submission. Maybe I made those protections an idol in some way. Whatever the case may be, you are my God, and I submit to whatever path you have for me.
In Jesus’ name I pray,