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Dear Evan Hansen — “For Forever”

15 Feb

End of May or early June
This picture-perfect afternoon we shared
Drive the winding country road
Grab a scoop at À La Mode
And then we’re there

An open field that’s framed with trees
We pick a spot and shoot the breeze
Like buddies do
Quoting songs by our favorite bands
Telling jokes no one understands
Except us two
And we talk and take in the view

All we see is sky for forever
We let the world pass by for forever
Feels like we could go on for forever this way
Two friends on a perfect day

We walk a while and talk about
The things we’ll do when we get out of school
Bike the Appalachian trail or
Write a book or learn to sail
Wouldn’t that be cool?

There’s nothing that we can’t discuss
Like girls we wish would notice us but never do
He looks around and says to me
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be”
And I say, “me too”
And we talk and take in the view
We just talk and take in the view

All we see is sky for forever
We let the world pass by for forever
Feels like we could go on for forever this way, this way
All we see is light for forever
‘Cause the sun shines bright for forever
Like we’ll be alright for forever this way
Two friends on a perfect day

And there he goes
Racing toward the tallest tree
From far across the yellow field I hear him calling, “follow me” there we go
Wondering how the world might look from up so high
One foot after the other
One branch then to another
I climb higher and higher
I climb ’til the entire
Sun shines on my face

And I suddenly feel the branch give way
I’m on the ground
My arm goes numb
I look around
And I see him come to get me
He’s come to get me
And everything’s okay

All we see is sky for forever
We let the world pass by for forever
Buddy, you and I for forever this way, this way
All we see is light
‘Cause the sun burns bright
We could be alright for forever this way
Two friends
True friends
On a perfect day

Dear God, this song is an interesting follow-up to “Waving Through A Window.” It’s almost like “Waving Through A Window” is his admission to how he feels and this song is a description of what he longs for. If someone sees him waving through a window. If someone accepts him then this is his fantasy of what that looks like. He even creates a new story of Conner coming to his rescue after he fell out of the tree when the truth is that he waited for someone to see him, but they never did. He had to go an find someone after he fell out of a tree (jumped?). So what’s in this fantasy that might speak to what we all look for?

First, it’s important to note to whom he is lying. He is lying to the parents of a young man who just took his own life after being extremely troubled. In “Requiem,” we will see how the loss is hitting them (mother, father, sister) differently, but in this case, Evan is just flat out lying to them. His desire to comfort them is getting mixed up his loneliness. And let’s not forget that this started because he is trying to obscure the fact that the letter they found on Conner wasn’t written by Conner at all, but by Evan and mentioned the feelings he had for Conner’s sister (one of the people listening to his current lie).

In the dialogue that precedes this song, the parents give him the intelligence that the ice cream parlor and the apple orchard were once special places to their family, so he works them into his tale.

I guess the thing that hits me about this song is my favorite memory from high school. My best friend and I would sit in the back of my truck my senior year and just talk. It would be out in my driveway. We’d just hang out and connect. Though we literally live a world apart, this friend is still one of the most treasured people in my heart. I feel bad about it now when I think about the fictitious characters in this musical because I had exactly what Evan reveals he is longing for in this song. Before I had a girlfriend, fiancé or wife, I had this friend. In a time that can be confusing and full of insecurity, there really is no replacing that kind of friend. And I don’t think I took it for granted. I knew what I had at the time, and I was grateful. I’m also grateful to you because this was the year I really started to devote myself to you and he was going through the same thing. We were both discovering you in a new way together, sharpening each other as iron sharpens iron. Maybe I have taken it for granted because I don’t know that I’ve ever really thanked you for him.

As I sit and think about that friendship now, we were good friends before that senior year, but neither of us was pursuing you. You weren’t a connection between us. I think our friendship took on a whole new dynamic when we each found you and committed to loving you with all of our heart, mind, and strength.

Hmm. Maybe that’s the whole song for me. No need to break down verse by verse. Except to maybe ask if I have that now. I kind of do in a friend in another city with whom I speak every Friday morning, but it’s not the same as having someone–another guy–that I connect with. Yes, I connect with my wife. We make a point to spend time talking every day and I feel very close to her. Is there a need in me that is beyond my relationship with her? Am I missing something? Is there someone that you have out there with whom you would like me to sharpen myself against? Probably. Yeah, probably.

Father, thank you for having shown me what a great male friend can look like. Thank you for the current friend you’ve put in my life every Friday morning. Thank you for a wife with whom I can really bond. There is so much for which I need to thank you. But if there is more you need me to do, make it clear to me. Show me. I will give you all of me. Use it how you will.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 15, 2020 in Dear Evan Hansen

 

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