Grief, Support, and Judgment

Dear God, I just read an essay by Lisa Marie Presley as printed by People Magazine. It touched me on a few levels. It touched me as a parent who, in many ways, feels like I failed. It touched me as a parent who has been through the loss of a child (through miscarriage). It touched me as a parent who has felt judged by others for things that, on one hand, I judge myself, but, on the other hand, feel like they were due to circumstances beyond my control. It touched me as a fellow sojourner with Ms. Presley. She’s two years older than me. Her son was one year older than my son is now when he died.

One of the tragedies in our divided nation right now is that we tend to judge each other a lot more easily than we support each other. Even within your Church, we judge each other. I prayed the other day about whether or not people in different political parties were able to all be part of your Body at the same time. We can be mean, but I wonder how much of that meanness is fueled by our own insecurities, mourning, and sin. Ms. Presley mentioned the importance of support groups. She said that they didn’t take away the grief, but at least they took away some of the loneliness. I can see that. As a parent who struggled, I could have used more support group help.

I talked with someone yesterday who was struggling with her own parenting issues, both as a parent and as a grandparent. There’s real pain there. There was also a real sense that she didn’t know what to do next or how to respond to the situation at hand. She was doing the best she could in each moment–with each decision–trying to figure out what you need from her and her husband as spouses for each other, parents, and grandparents. It’s not easy.

Father, I could go on an on. I feel like I could probably type nonstop about this for at least an hour. More and more thoughts just keep coming into my head. But it comes down to this. I need–we need–the Holy Spirit to guide us beyond what we can see and help us to make the decisions that must be made in what is darkness to us, but complete light to you. Please help us. Help our children. Our grandchildren. Help us as spouses. Help us to mourn. Help us to use the mourning and the scars it leaves to take your light into the world–especially to others who mourn. Let us be your comfort to them. Fill their loneliness through our lives. And fill our loneliness through the lives of others. For the pain we are experiencing, please make it count. Make it count for your glory. And I’d also like to pray for Ms. Presley. Don’t let her pain be wasted. Use it in some way, even through this essay she beautifully wrote, to help someone. And ease her pain. Give her peace. Help her to find you and your heart in the midst of this and use her life for your glory.

I pray this through the power of Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection,

Amen

 

Romans 12:4-5

⁴ Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, ⁵ so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

Romans 12:4-5

Dear God, does that mean American Christians who are both Republican and Democrat are part of the same body? Do we all belong to each other? That just doesn’t seem right.

I’m being sarcastic of course. I am so tired of the animosity. I’m so tired of each side not being able to tolerate differences in opinion. Not because I don’t think there is a right opinion and a wrong opinion. I’m sure you have an opinion on everything. The problem is that both sides have opinions that are right and that are wrong. I have some opinions that are right. I’m sure I have many that are wrong. I have been taught good things, I have been taught erroneous things. I’ve developed my own thoughts on some issues. Sometimes through prayer. Sometimes just using my mind. But I’m smart enough to know that I don’t know. I’m smart enough to know I haven’t cornered the market on what it means to love you.

I have heard something from different sources over the last week that keeps resonating with me: “Never stop wanting to learn.” I can’t remember the first time I heard it this week, but it spoke to me. Then I heard it again this morning while I was listening to a sermon. I can be very cocky at work. I can feel like I know what to do, what not to do, when to do it, and when not to do it. I like to give my thoughts more than I like to ask others for their thoughts and really listen to their words. Sometimes, I probably miss you and what you might have to say to me, using their voice as your own–whether they are worshippers of you or not.

Father, Holy Spirit, please help me to be the part of the body you need me to be, appreciate the other parts of the body that I’m not, and also listen to those who have your wisdom to share with me. Give me a discerning heart that will seek you, your wisdom, and your glory. Forgive me for my selfishness, arrogance, pride, and self-indulgence. Help me to live in that repentance and turn from my foolishness.

I pray this through Jesus and the mercy He offers,

Amen

 

John 15:9-15

⁹ “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. ¹⁰ When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! ¹² This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. ¹³ There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ¹⁴ You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵ I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. ¹⁶ You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. ¹⁷ This is my command: Love each other.

John 15:9-15

Dear God, I was thinking about Abraham this morning and the juxtaposition of his faith and love for you and the many bad kings that followed David in Israel. The idea was to end up after life in the bosom of Abraham (Luke 16). But they didn’t love you. They gave up on looking beyond themselves and their limited power. They clung to their pride. They didn’t want to submit and then go through the work of worship and relationship with you.

Are we any different? Am I any different? Oh, perhaps I’m a little different in that I continue, at least up to this point, to strive to worship you, pray to you, learn from you, and pursue relationship with you. But it’s all fragile. There are days when it feels easier to just sink into myself and gratify all of my own desires. It’s like marriage a little. It takes work on my part for a healthy relationship. The path of least resistance–the wide path–is to indulge my own selfishness, ignore my wife and her needs, and just…I don’t know…be a jerk. But the more difficult but fulfilling past–the narrow path–takes self-sacrifice, self-denial, and work. But at the end of the day, it’s the much more rewarding path.

How much more so is the narrow path worth it with you? I was listening to a discussion this morning on the theology around hell and the afterlife. I confess to you that I have no idea what all of that means. However, I am confident that relationship with you on earth and the fruits of the Spirit that come from loving you and obeying your commands are worth more than the fruits of the flesh described in Galatians 5. When I come to the end of my life, I’d rather look back on a life marked with love, joy, peace, etc. (Galatians 5:22-23) than a life full of “sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, ²⁰ idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, ²¹ envy, drunkenness, wild parties” (Galatians 5:19-21).

Father, Holy Spirit, please be with me today. Pray for me. Pray for my friends. My wife and I spent some time this morning praying specifically for a friend with family issues. Please guide them. I know this couple does the hard work. I know they worship you. Please be their comforter and counselor now. Please honor their prayers. Please bring glory to the world through this pain. Don’t let it be wasted. And don’t let my day be wasted either. Show me what to do to bring glory to your name throughout the earth.

I pray this through Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection,

Amen

 

Psalm 94:17-19

Unless the LORD had helped me, I would soon have settled in the silence of the grave. I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O LORD, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.

Psalm 94:17-19

Dear God, when doubts fill my mind, your comfort gives me renewed hope and cheer. Thank you.

I suppose each of us haas a different threshold for what we perceive as suffering. For someone who has had not experienced very little suffering at the hands of others or through life circumstances, I think I still have a pretty high threshold. For example, I have a friend whose son is a movie director and he just made a documentary about a worship leader who flew in the face of the government during the first few months of Covid and insisted that the church could not be “persecuted” by being told we temporarily could not meet corporately for worship. The friend directly asked me to attend a special screening of the movie and I was trying to passively get out of it, but after he pressed on I had to be more frank and tell him that I don’t like the viewpoint that the government was persecuting the church in that moment. They were applying a standard across the board to everyone. It was awkward, but I just don’t see it that way.

That being said, there have certainly been times when I called on you because I felt I was falling. Employment struggles. Struggles in my marriage. Struggles with my children. Concerns for my community or for friends.

Father, Holy Spirit, thank you for being my God, my comforter, my counselor, my provider, and my hope beyond the seen world. Help me to continue to walk with you and worship you. Help me to bring your hope and comfort to others.

I pray this through the power of Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection,

Amen

 

2 Corinthians 10:17-18

As the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the .” When people commend themselves, it doesn’t count for much. The important thing is for the Lord to commend them.

2 Corinthians 10:17-18

Dear God, this is a great trap for me. First, I tend to get way too much credit for the work others do. I lead an organization that does “good” work in the community. It’s a nonprofit that helps others. But the truth is that it’s the staff that really makes a difference on the front lines. Second, there’s a part of me that really loves it when people praise me and are impressed with me. I have to be very conscious of this.

Then there are the things that go well that are my responsibility. I really want to thump my chest and take credit for those things, but I always try to quickly remember that I haven’t really done anything that special and it just seems to be your blessing that propels us forward. Whether it’s fundraising where I am, or even the projects I do outside of work, there are times when good things just happen and I have to remember to not only give you the glory internally, but also give you the glory to others as well.

Of course, there are also the areas of my life that appear to be abject failures. I don’t understand what is going on in those areas, but I am praying to you about them and counting on you to either redeem them or use them to mold me and the others involved into the people you need us to be.

Father, to you be the glory. I give you my utmost for your highest. Holy Spirit, please give me the strength I need to give my utmost today.

Jesus, thank you for enabling me to bring all of this to the Father,

Amen

 

Romans 14:5-9

In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable. Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God. For we don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves. If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Christ died and rose again for this very purpose—to be Lord both of the living and of the dead.

Romans 14:5-9

Dear God, I’ve been spending so much time going through the prophets of the Old Testament with the Bible in a Year podcast that I can get lost between how you related to us pre-Jesus and how you relate to us through the new covenant established after Jesus. How much leeway do I have now? How much does my individual sin still grieve you?

Paul’s description here gives me a lot of agency on how I choose to honor and worship you, seemingly as long as my heart is in the right place. This concept can be very confusing and overwhelming. I’m sure my heart is in the right place. How much will bad theology on my part frustrate you?

Father, Holy Spirit, walk with me today. Guide my steps. Show your will for me to me. As I return to my daily life from vacation—as I leave the mountain and return to the valley—please help me to not miss where you are leading me to go. Do it all for your glory, your will to be done on earth through my life, and to make me the man you need me to be.

In Jesus’s name and through his life, death, and resurrection I pray,

Amen

 

Message to Laodicea“To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:The Amen, the faithful and true Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God, says this: ‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent.

Revelation 3:14-19

Dear God, I’m about to give a three-minute talk to three church services this morning, and I had one set of things ready to say, but I cannot help but wonder if there isn’t something more you’d like me to accomplish in the three minutes What do they need to hear? Let me start with this passage and see if anything bubbles to the surface by the Holy Spirit.

I’ve been listening to the Bible in a year podcast and when I get into the prophets there is just so much failure on the parts of the Israelites. So much repeated failure. And usually they have no idea they are failing. They are just failing. That’s what I see in this prophecy for Laodicea and the warning you are giving them. They don’t understand they are failing. They think they are doing enough. They have the resources they need. They feel satisfied. Is that enough?

I’ve struggled with a though along those lines the last couple of weeks. I have been in a pretty opulent setting on the vacation from which I just returned. First-class hotels and meals. Being served by the staff running the trip. Spending money we had set aside, but treating it like it was no object. But do I consider that wealth? Do I consider that rich? Do I consider that to be the goal of life?

Father, Holy Spirit, speak to me and speak through me this morning. Help me to see where you are calling me to repent and then help me see what you would have me say to others. Help me to take your discipline and grow closer to you through it. I was just listening to the song “Inside Out” by David Meece. Here’s the chorus: “Search me Holy Spirit. Help me look inside. Show me what you’re seeing. What I’m trying to hide. Search me Holy Spirit. Send you healing power. Search me Holy Spirit. Help me change from the inside out.” That is my prayer this morning.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

Ezekiel 24:15-19

¹⁵ Then this message came to me from the Lord: ¹⁶ “Son of man, with one blow I will take away your dearest treasure. Yet you must not show any sorrow at her death. Do not weep; let there be no tears. ¹⁷ Groan silently, but let there be no wailing at her grave. Do not uncover your head or take off your sandals. Do not perform the usual rituals of mourning or accept any food brought to you by consoling friends.”

¹⁸ So I proclaimed this to the people the next morning, and in the evening my wife died. The next morning I did everything I had been told to do. ¹⁹ Then the people asked, “What does all this mean? What are you trying to tell us?”

Ezekiel 24:15-19

Dear God, if ever there was a passage the demonstrated how our lives are not about us, it is this one. Perhaps Ezekiel’s wife was going to die anyway and you were just letting him know, but to dictate that he not publicly mourn her passing so that you could demonstrate to the Israelites your feelings about their indifference for you is palpable.

Ninety percent of my life is pretty soft, but there is a portion that has been hard and difficult. And I’ve tended to dwell on and complain about the 10% more than I’ve worshipped you and been grateful for the 90%. At the same time, over the last few years, I’ve tried to consider that you might be doing something in the 10% that I cannot see. Therefore, my prayer to you has been to make it count.

Father, Holy Spirit, my Comforter, my Counselor, my Convictor, my Lord, my God, I ask that you make the pain count. For my friends who are sick or suffering, I ask that you heal them, of course. Touch their bodies. Touch their souls. Touch their minds. Touch their hearts. Please, heal them and bring them close to you. And do not waste this experience. Do not waste this pain. Please, make this pain count. Make it count for my life and their lives. Use it to draw us closer to you. Use it to lead us into deeper worship of you. Use it to bring your kingdom and will into the earth. Use it for our good. Show me today what you would have me do or say.

In and through Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

2 Corinthians 9:6-10

⁶ Remember this—a farmer who plants only a few seeds will get a small crop. But the one who plants generously will get a generous crop. ⁷ You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” ⁸ And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. ⁹ As the Scriptures say,

“They share freely and give generously to the poor.
    Their good deeds will be remembered forever.”

¹⁰ For God is the one who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, he will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you.

2 Corinthians 9:6-10

Dear God, I was talking with a retired man last night who is putting some of his energy into nonprofit work in his retirement. He is on the board of a nonprofit and has been giving both his money and his background/experience to the organization. I spoke to another man who is still working but is doing the same thing. He is an attorney who has given a lot of free legal counsel to a nonprofit for which he is on the board.

I’m thinking about these two men because of the idea of sowing and giving back. We did not discuss their faith, but I don’t think either of them are really people of faith, but as good humans they still know the intrinsic fulfillment and joy that come from giving of themselves–giving from their surplus.

Frankly, I feel like I get too much credit from others for the work I do. I feel like I leave a lot of seeds that you’ve given me unsown. The New Testament reading today from the Catholic Church is from John’s Gospel where Jesus is talking about a grain of wheat is nothing until it dies and becomes more wheat (John 12). You have given me a lot of grain and I don’t guess I will ever perfectly sow it all in this world. I just hope I can get better and better about sowing more and more.

Father, Holy Spirit, make this another day of representing you, loving you, and worshipping you. Live through me. Love through me. And as I’m on vacation, restore me. Do the same for my wife as well.

I pray this through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus,

Amen

 

Luke 12:4-7

⁴ “Dear friends, don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot do any more to you after that. ⁵ But I’ll tell you whom to fear. Fear God, who has the power to kill you and then throw you into hell. Yes, he’s the one to fear.

⁶ “What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. ⁷ And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

Luke 12:4-7

Dear God, the verse of the day from Bible Gateway is verse 6, but I lose a lot if I don’t go back and pick up what Jesus said in verse 4: “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body..” Hold it! What? I want to think of that verse just pertaining to my daily needs: bread, shelter, etc. But Jesus is talking about something on a whole other level that I as a 21st century American don’t consider.

Yesterday at lunch, I was with a group of people and there was a Chinese national at the table who is now a U.S. citizen. Someone at the table asked her what the best thing is about American and she said, “Freedom.” Then she went on to tell of the draconian restrictions on some of her family members in China over the last few Covid years. First, it made me think that those who claim China released Covid-19 on the world intentionally discount how much the virus has cost China itself. But then I thought about how we, as Americans, just have not idea what it means to suffer. We consider a mask requirement or a negative Covid test requirement is a persecution too difficult to bear. We think our churches should be exempt from restrictions for crowd gathering that any other part of society (movie theaters, restaurants, etc.) is subject to.

But Jesus takes all of that stuff off of the table in this story. He takes it all of the way to death and says, “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body…”

Father, Holy Spirit, as I say these words from Act 20:24, I really, really hope I mean them. Quoting Paul, “I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me. The task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” Help me to live those words, even in my conversations today.

In Jesus’s name and through his life, death, and resurrection I pray,

Amen