Ephesians 5:25-33

²⁵ For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her ²⁶ to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. ²⁷ He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. ²⁸ In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. ²⁹ No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. ³⁰ And we are members of his body.

³¹ As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” ³² This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. ³³ So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:25-33

Dear God, I always think of this verse on my anniversary. It was read at our wedding, and I’ll always remember one of my wife’s friends telling her that the verses preceding verse 25 about women submitting to their husbands made them nervous, but they trusted her to know what she was doing.

I was thinking about it yesterday on my bike ride. I was thinking about how much I have changed since I was fresh out of college 22 years ago. My wife has changed as well. I think the key is me really learning what it is like to:

• Love her
• Make her holy and clean through the cleansing of your Word
• Present her without a spot or wrinkle
• Love her as myself
• Leave my father and mother and join with her
• Unite with her

So what does that look like, and does doing those things successfully help her to “submit” in a way that is edifying for her? Back to my bike ride, I was thinking about how needy I was when we first got married. I was incredibly insecure, looking for her to love me the way my insecurity needed to be loved. I had expectations of her that were not freeing to her. Submission to 22-year-old me could be burdensome. Not because I was being mean, but because I did not really love her in a way that gave her freedom to discover who she was in you. I was too busy making sure she fed a part of my ego that was damaged.

I guess it didn’t really start to change until 1.) I started doing these prayer journals eight years later and 2.) I experienced Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas for the first time. The prayer journals rekindled my discipleship and reliance upon you for the needs that my damaged ego had. Sacred Marriage taught me that her job in my life was not to make me happy, but to be a friend and help me to grow into a better, more humble man. All of a sudden, I could take my need to control her love for me and turn it into an incredible desire to see her flourish in every way–just like Jesus wants to see His church flourish.

Father, I haven’t figured all of this out. There are still parts of my life that are a mess. There are still things I do that frustrate her and hurt her. So I’m not sitting here and claiming to be this amazing husband. What I am saying is that I know I’m not the man I was 30 years ago, and that is all because of you and what you have done for me, including what you have done for me through her. Thank you. Thank you for the 33 years I have known her. Thank you for the 30 years of marriage. Thank you for our daughter and our son. As year 31 starts today, I pray that you would help us to be, as a couple, exactly what you need us to be for all of those in our sphere of influence. And please continue to grow our hearts together.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

Ephesians 4:31-32

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:31-32

Dear God, like all sin, whether it’s anything from lying, to lust, to intoxication, to the things listed in verse 31 above, they feel so so good in the moment, but the good feeling is hollow and short-lived. Then we are faced with a choice as we sit there in emptiness: Do we keep chasing the good feeling through diving deeper into these things or do we turn, repent, take the time to rebuild the damage caused by these things and then embrace the things you have said are good for us?

The rebuild is always harder than the teardown. Trust is something that is lost over a moment, but only regained with time and experience. I had someone I trusted completely at one point. After only a few betrayals and lies, my trust for them was shattered and it’s still not completely back. Am I bitter against them? No, I’ve gotten over a lot of my bitterness (although there is still some anger and deep hurt remaining). But I am also careful about how much I expose myself to them and make myself vulnerable to them. I am still have tenderness in my heart for them. I forgive them. But I still have up some walls.

Father, show me the path forward with all of those in my life whom I do not trust. Show me how to be the kind, tenderhearted, forgiving man you have called me to be. Do all of this for the sake of my soul and peace and for your glory.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

Ephesians 6:10-12

A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 6:10-12

Dear God, I so often forget this reality. I read this before my wife and I did our daily prayer together this morning so I incorporated it into our prayer. Whether it’s family conflicts, community conflicts, work conflicts, or world conflicts, what we see with our eyes and perceive with our minds is only part of the story. There is so much more happening, and I need you in the midst of so much unknown.

Father, help me to be your vessel today. Love through me. Bring peace through me. Heal my heart and heal other hearts around me, using me in whatever way you want. I am yours. I am all yours.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

Ephesians 1:9-11

God has now revealed to us his mysterious will regarding Christ—which is to fulfill his own good plan. And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.
Ephesians 1:9-11

Dear God, there are times when I doubt that Paul was right. It’s been 2,000 years, and I have a difficult time seeing how you are bringing “everything together under the authority of Christ.” Frankly, I think Paul would be shocked to know 2,000 years have passed and Jesus hasn’t returned in a way that Paul envisioned he would.

With that said, I do believe that you have your “own good plan.” I do believe that you ultimately want us to all be in relationship with you somehow. I believe you want to love us. I believe you want to grow us and even stretch us. I believe you want to make me better. That’s the interesting thing about your plan. It appears to be macro and micro at the same time. In fact, it actually seems to be more micro than macro—at least from my perspective, which is very limited. What I mean by micro is that you care about me individually and while you are not necessarily about my comfort and luxury, you are about growth. You are about refining me. I prayed the other day that I wanted you to break me, melt me, mold me and fill me. It’s the breaking, melting, and molding that are hard. And to do it you need the hammer, the fire, and the rough power of the potter’s hands. But when my vessel is ready, you can fill me. In fact, you find a way to fill me even when you haven’t completed me yet.

Father, those words are from a praise chorus called “Spirit of the Living God.” I pray that song now: Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me. Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me. Break me. Melt me. Mold me. Fill me. Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

Ephesians 2:8-10

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Ephesians 2:8-10

Dear God, “masterpiece?” That’s a little generous of the NLT translators. The NASB calls us your workmanship. The NIV says handiwork. The translation must be difficult to find a direct correlation in English. But let’s at least say that we are a particular pet project for you, you paid close attention to what you were doing when you formed and engaged with us, and you do good work. In this case, your plan for redeeming us and creating us new and in Jesus’s image is good so we should maybe consider it an honor to be let of it and take up the responsibility that comes with being the subject of your affection and redemption.

I’ve been fairly disengaged from you this last week. Not totally. It’s been hit and miss. But you certainly have not been my first love. I have not loved you with all of my soul, heart, and strength.

Father, I embrace the idea that what you have done for me through Jesus is a masterpiece. I take no credit for it or anything good in my life. You are my God. I and yours. I will worship you, follow you, and submit my own gain for yours.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

Ephesians 4:29-32

²⁹ Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

³⁰ And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.

³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. ³² Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:29-32

Dear God, I’m back from vacation, and I’m having trouble revving back up to speed. Tomorrow is work, but today is housekeeping items that need to be handled. Frankly, it’s (theoretically) a nice way to ease back into things, but I’m not wanting to. I just want to stay disengaged. Being disengaged, spending money indiscriminately on vacation without worrying about where it comes from, and living for myself each day can be pretty addictive, although I know it leads to emptiness. One, the money will obviously run out at some point, but, beyond the obvious, it’s just important that I die to myself and live for you. There is nothing but emptiness at the bottom of my own life if that is all I pursue.

I guess I’m putting all of this beside this passage (which came from Bible Gateway’s “Verse of the Day”) because 1.) it’s what’s on my heart, but 2.) because this is about how I engage with the world. What kind of ambassador am I for you? What will I do on your behalf to be a blessing to others? What kind of home will I provide in my heart to the Holy Spirit? Will I grieve you.

Father, I want to end this prayer by simply worshipping you. That’s where it all starts. Hallowed be your name. You are my God. You are the God who demands I drop all of my other gods for you, and that starts with the god of myself. I worship you as my savior. My hope. My redemption. My purpose. My master. I worship you as the creator of the universe, the author of good things in this earth, and the lover of my soul. Thank you for loving me. I am so sorry for failing to love you in the ways you deserve.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

Ephesians 2:11-22

Don’t forget that you Gentiles used to be outsiders. You were called “uncircumcised heathens” by the Jews, who were proud of their circumcision, even though it affected only their bodies and not their hearts. In those days you were living apart from Christ. You were excluded from citizenship among the people of Israel, and you did not know the covenant promises God had made to them. You lived in this world without God and without hope. But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ. For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us. He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups. Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death. He brought this Good News of peace to you Gentiles who were far away from him, and peace to the Jews who were near. Now all of us can come to the Father through the same Holy Spirit because of what Christ has done for us. So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family. Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit.
Ephesians 2:11-22

Dear God, I’ve read this passage countless times, but I don’t think I’ve every really appreciated how anti-racist Paul was in his message. He was taking this to Gentiles. All Gentiles.

A couple of days ago, my wife and I were talking about how the great Babylonian exile among the Israelites ultimately marked the end of idol worship for them. They were always falling into idol worship with the surrounding nations, but they stopped after that. That terrible exile seems to have purged it from them. I asked her this morning if it was because the nations that conquered them (Babylon, Rome, etc.) didn’t worship idols, but instead worshiped the men in charge as their god and maybe that was just a step too far for them. Maybe it was.

I bring all of that up here because after I read this passage this morning I all of a sudden juxtaposed Paul’s message of the welcoming all other nationalities into Christianity and even watering down some of the requirements like unclean food and circumcision to accomplish it, and the Old Testaments’ warnings of getting too close to and intermingling with foreigners. What Jesus brought was truly paradigm shifting. It was your love built for the whole world.

Father, thank you for building a bridge between you and me through Jesus. Thank you for giving me something better than an idol or a man to worship. I am sorry for the idols I set up in my life. I’m sorry for worshipping money and what I perceive as financial security. I’m sorry for worshiping what I think my children’s lives should be or what paths they should take. I’m sorry for worshiping the destiny I want for myself and putting that before my worship of you. I’m sorry for my selfishness. I’m sorry for sinning against you. Please forgive me, and thank you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

Solomon: What Went Wrong?

Dear God, I’m preaching tomorrow at the local Presbyterian church and I will be using the verses that I’ve been journaling on over the last week from 1 Kings 3, Ephesians 5, and John 6. Certainly a pattern emerged (I’m sure those who chose these passages for the Presbyterian Church intended for there to be some synergy between them). I suppose I could say the executive summary is that a scared young man who was overwhelmed by his situation (which was orchestrated by his mother, Bathsheba, on his behalf against David’s oldest remaining son) had a vision from you and he showed some real insight by asking you for wisdom. But in reading what happened next, one almost has to wonder if you did the right thing by giving it to him because the wisdom made him very successful, but it also led him away from you.

I think there were two main things that were Solomon’s downfall: power and women.

Power: Quite simply, he got to where he didn’t need you and his priority eventually became amassing more and more wealth and power. He forced those from previously conquered peoples to be slaves (1 Kings 9:15-21) and he made the Israelite men his military and government officials (1 Kings 9:22-23). He forgot about the 1,000 years since your promise to Abraham and everything that had been done by you and through the faithfulness of others to you over the generations. He forgot about your command to stay loyal to you and not worship other gods (1 Kings 9:6-9). Simply put, he got fat and happy.

Women: This one is complicated, and I have a feeling it involves what he learned from his dad, to some extent. After all, I’m sure he knew the whole story about how his mother came to be David’s wife. He knew how his father abused his power as king to rape his mother, kill her husband, and eventually add her to his haram. He knew how his half brother raped his half sister and David did nothing about it. Eventually, he ended up with 700 wives and 300 concubines (the only difference I can see between them is that the wives were of royal birth and the concubines weren’t). And going back to the power angle, because the wives were from the surrounding nations that God warned them about, it appears as if he married many of the 700 wives (the wives of royal birth, or princesses) to form alliances and consolidate his power so he would not have to devote resources to military, but instead focus them on his personal gain and ease of life.

So eventually, Solomon turned his heart from you, Father. He let the ease of life lull him wandering away. He let the excitement of these relationships with the myriad of women dilute his faith in you. He was joining with them in body and instead of insisting that they leave their idols and worship you, he joined many of them in their worship of other things.

So that’s Solomon. Now, what about Ephesians 5 and John 6? How do they fit into this? Well, obviously Paul is talking about wisdom in Ephesians Paul gives us a pretty basic instruction in Ephesians 5:15-20: Make the most of every opportunity. Act thoughtfully/intentionally, seeking what you want me to do. Avoid things that promote escaping reality like wine/drugs, but be filled with the Holy Spirit. Sing to you by myself and with others. Thank you for everything.

Then there’s Jesus in John 6. True bread from you is Jesus and what he gave us through his life (teaching), death, and resurrection. Jesus is the bread, and he also instructed us to ask you for our daily bread–our daily dose of Jesus. Our provision for our physical needs, but also our continual dependence upon you for our emotional stability and purposeful growth and actions.

So what do we do to make sure we are pursuing our daily bread being filled by the Holy Spirit and avoiding the things that encourage us to escape reality and numb ourselves to the needs around us and what you are calling us to do? Well, I think that can be different for everyone to some extent. The general things are there. Daily time in prayer and scripture of some sort. Daily time worshiping you. Surrounding ourselves with a community of people who are like-minded in their worship of you. That’s not to say all of my friends have to be Christians, but certainly the ones I lean on the most should be. It’s looking for the opportunities you call us to to serve others.

Father, help me to not only take all of this and put it into a format that communicates effectively in the morning. Help me to live it out as well. Help me to live it out before you. Help me to live it out in my marriage and my family. Help me to live it out in my work and in my service to others. Help me to not focus on protecting what I have, but instead using what I have to help others. Do all of this so that my life would be part of your kingdom coming and your will being done on earth as it is in heaven.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

Ephesians 5:15-20

Be very careful, then, how you live —not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 5:15-20

Dear God, I just can’t live an effective life when I have shame. That’s what I thought after I read this passage and then I went back and read the verses before this about darkness and the evil things being brought to light. There have been times in my life when I’ve been ashamed of my actions. I’ve felt the weight of that shame. I’ve felt the need to hide my deed and hope no one finds out. In fact, I still think about something I did when I was 18 that no one know about but you. I’m grateful you know. I’m grateful you forgive me.

It’s interesting he mentions alcohol here. I actually have a few different friends right now (four or five) who are in the middle of separations and divorce proceedings because of one spouse’s alcohol addiction. Isn’t it funny how nearly every story I hear about someone getting their life back together starts with, “I got sober/clean”? But there are certainly other things we can use to escape reality and avoid the responsibilities of life you’ve given us. TV. Religion/church. Meditation. I was talking with a provider in our clinic about a patient who is an absolute mess both physically and emotionally. She talks about you all of the time, but it’s like she’s invoking your name to just solve everything. In the line between living by faith and living in denial, she is way over the line into denial. Then I heard a story last night of a woman who’s obviously mentally ill. She had an accident going 120 mph through a red light without holding onto the wheel. She had her 11-yr-old with her. She told the officer she was testing her faith in you and she didn’t seem to have any regrets. Yes, mentally, she has crossed way over into the denial of reality and her responsibility in life.

Father, help me to identify anything that gets in the way of being truly filled by the Spirit and then doing the things the Spirit asks me to do. Help me to easily see the times when I cross the line between living by faith and living in denial. Just help me to be the man you need me to be, and forgive me for when I fail because I do fail, and I am sorry.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

In Jesu

 

Ephesians 3:20

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Ephesians 3:20

Dear God, when I read this verse this morning my first thought was, “So I wonder what I’m failing to ask for.”

I heard recently that Warren Buffett has a rule of 5/25. Basically, the idea is to list your top 25 lite goals, narrow it down to the top 5 priorities for you, and then forget about the other 20. I’m probably screwing that up, but it’s the basic idea. The theory is that you probably only have time to really accomplish five significant things in life, so don’t be distracted by the things that are less important to you and focus on those top five. I haven’t done this exercise since I read about it, but it seemed like an interesting idea. I guess I would caution anyone to develop their 5/25 list with a lot of care, examining it through the lens of the two great commandments (love you with all our soul, mind and strength and love our neighbors as ourself), starting each item with the question, “Is this about my glory or God’s?”

Father, I have an early meeting today in which I will be working with others to start the process of visioning and planning for the future for our nonprofit. Guide us in this. Show us what we are failing to see. Holy Spirit, inspire us to tap fully into you and give us your vision for the needs you want us to meet. Help us to give our utmost for your highest.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen