The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons. “A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land…”
Luke 15:12-13a
Dear God, I know this is a parable to describe your relationship with us, but I still want to sit with the father in this moment. Until the son showed back up, this is where the father’s knowledge stops. He doesn’t know the boy blew all of the money. He doesn’t know how he spent it. He doesn’t know he’s broke and starving. For all he knows, the boy could be out living a good life, being responsible, and he will never be seen again.
I live in a small town that just finished a year of celebrating its 175th year of settlement. 176 years ago, a group of Prussians (now Germans) left everything behind to come to start fresh in America. I’d never thought about their individual motivations before going to a worship service last Thursday, but most of them were saying goodbye to family forever, never to be seen or heard from again. Some of them were probably alone in the world with nothing to lose, but I’m sure there were some who were like the boy in the parable: “I’ve had it with you people. I’m out of here.” Then those that loved them were left. It was like a death.
I’ve experienced this kind of pain. It’s probably why I’m unwilling to inflict it upon others even though that is certainly my temptation. But I know the depths to which it cuts. I can’t do that to someone else. After all, you would never abandon me. How can I completely abandon someone else.
Father, I’m sorry I turn my back on you. I’m sorry I’ve allowed myself to turn my back on others at times. And I don’t mind telling you that my current pain is great. Be in my multiple situations and heal it all. And if this pain must be experienced, please make it count.
In Jesus’s name I pray,
Amen