Dear God, a friend asked me to read this book that’s meant a lot to him. I’ve been spending some time with it and I have things I’ve agreed with, things I’ve disagreed with, and then things that have made me think. I thought I might journal about some of them here and see if your Holy Spirit has anything to say to me through this.
First, I highlighted this sentence:
“Here’s a scary little secret: people marry to the level of their brokenness. If on a scale of 1 to 10 you are a 5, the healthiest relationship you will have is a 5. If you want to move from a 5 to a 7, there is one and only one path to get there. You must change.”
I disagree. I have to say that this was pretty early on in the book so it has made me approach the rest of it with some healthy skepticism. Why do I disagree? Because I can be a healthy person with an unhealthy person who will bring the relationship score down. Or I can be the weak link. If I’m a 5, that doesn’t mean I married a 5. If my wife is an 8 and she sees something in me, a 3, that falls in love and you call her to be with me, then I will be living in a relationship better than a 3 simply because of her presence. If she’s an 8, I’m a 3, and our relationship is a 5 (all of these are obviously subjective ratings), then we can climb to a 6 or 7 through my own growth. So I’m not quite with Mr. Reimer on this one.
Second highlighted sentence:
“Many churches today have one of these components in their culture: anointed truth, true community, or the presence and power of God. But it takes all three to create a culture of deep change.”
I have to say that I hate to disagree again, but this isn’t how I view churches today. I see them more as either having all three of these areas or having none of them. I’m not sure you can have these three things in a mutually exclusive way. Can you have anointed truth taught and not also develop community through it and have your presence and power among us? Can I do the first two and not have your presence and power? I guess I can see where “true community” could exist without the other two, but I’m not sure any environment will have one of the other two for very long without having all three develop. But if anointed truth or your presence and power shows up first and the other two components don’t develop, then that component will fade quickly. In my opinion. But I do agree with him that the healthiest churches have all three. The others are just going through the motions and it is why so many churches are dying and not attracting new people. It’s also why politics have been able to take root and become an idol in churches. We have lost our first love.
Third highlighted sentence:
But if you believe that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving Creator, in the image of God and redeemed by the Savior who counted you worthy of His very life, then your life will be rich with meaning, purpose, and passion.”
I totally agree with this. It reminded me of Job and what he figured out about his “meaning, purpose, and passion.” At the beginning of Job, he counted himself righteous and that you would reward or discipline him based on his performance. When he suffered even without bad performance, he took issue with you. But after you showed up and spoke to him at the end of the book, he realized that his life was not about himself at all. His purpose was about simply being here to be used by you and to worship you. He deserved nothing. It’s the realization Paul comes to very quickly: “But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesu–the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.” (Acts 20:24) My life isn’t about what I accomplish by building up my own storehouses. I don’t deserve anything. The only thing I can expect is your grace through the gift you gave me through Jesus’s life, death and resurrection. Beyond that, my life is about you.
Fourth highlighted sentence:
“There are two key tools that you can access to renew your mind. They are both vital–you need to renew your mind by holding on to the truth, and you need the presence of God.” (emphasis Reimer’s)
This reminds me of Andy Stanley’s current series on “The Fundamental List.” So much of what we get theologically wrapped around the axle about is just immaterial opinion. Mary. Infant baptism. Drinking. Homosexuality. Promiscuity. Some of these are more important that others, but they are not foundational to my faith. For me, believing in Jesus, repenting and then developing a relationship with you is fundamental. The more I do that the more the Holy Spirit molds and shapes me. He is shaping me in this moment right now–clearing out the thorns in my soil. Getting rid of the pursuit of wealth and cares of this world. Developing the fruits of His/your Spirit. Sharing the hope to someone else that they can have those fruits. Loving my neighbor. I need your truth and I need your presence, as Reimer says. I just need to pray for your discernment about what is real truth from you and what is false truth from others.
Fifth highlighted sentence:
“I often spend time alone with God in silence.”
Here’s what I typed as a note for this: “Silence is a weird one for me. The times I hear God speak to me in silence aren’t as much prescribed times of silence, but only after I’ve been actively seeking him for an answer and then he uses an intuition or sometimes even something or someone around me to say something that the Holy Spirit seems to tell me it’s from Him.” Honestly, Father, these times of journaling have been some of the most revelatory times for me. I have felt your Spirit speak to me through channeling my thoughts while I focus them through this process. I focus on you in a way that I never can in just silence. Maybe I’m missing something. Maybe I haven’t disciplined myself enough to learn from this process. I don’t know. But I know that I find this time with you in this way incredibly edifying and soul-building.
Sixth highlighted sentence:
“The lie I believed was that if someone didn’t agree with me, they didn’t love me, or at least I felt threatened that they wouldn’t love me.”
I’m grateful I’m not at this place now. I think I used to be. I don’t know that I used to feel loved or unloved based on this, but I have certainly wondered about if I can be in relationship. And there have been some dealbreakers for me. But those have been more about personal things in relationships and boundaries than they’ve been about general opinions regarding life, theology, politics, etc.
Conclusions
So that’s where I am up to this point. I’m not sure if I will finish the book or not. But I wanted to stop and assess what I’ve gotten out of it up to this point. Even the things I haven’t agreed with have made me stop and question why I disagree so I guess that’s been good too. But just know that I love you. I’m grateful for you. I know I deserve nothing. I’m here for whatever you’re calling me to do. Give me ears to hear.
I pray this under your authority and in your name,
Amen