Dear God, I know I have prayed about this Voxology podcast episode called “The God Who Disappoints” before, but I came across it again yesterday while I was looking for something else and it feels like an appropriate topic for Mother’s Day. Why? Because sometimes life just doesn’t work out the way you think it will. We have our dreams of how we hope things will work out. Maybe it’s our careers. Marriages. Relationships with children. Behaviors of children, grown or young. Church. Friendships. Health. Standard of living. Whatever it might be, we have our hopes and dreams and then there is the reality of what we live.
I was visiting with a mother who called me yesterday about her adult son who struggles with addiction. I know she’s not a perfect woman. None of us are. I am sure her son has legitimate beefs with her just as my children do with me. But this woman loves her son so much. Oh, the pain she is feeling!
Then I think back to Mary and Joseph. Jeremiah. Manoah and his wife (Samson’s parents). Moses. Paul. Peter. David. Jonathan. Elijah. Job. Even Jesus. In fact, I suppose if my life is too rosy I should probably question what I’m doing because I can think of very few people in the Bible who had rosy lives that turned out exactly like they wanted them to.
So what exactly is it that you are offering me in this relationship? What do you bring to the table. Theoretically, I bring you all of my worship and praise. What do I get in return? The answer: relationship with you. Comfort in this life. Peace. A joy that comes from loving others and loving you sacrificially. Everything I have is about you, Father. And I’m not going to even mention an afterlife with you because I don’t want to just use you or manipulate you so that you will let me into heaven. I want to be with you now. I want to know you now. I want to learn from you now. I want to be a better man through knowing you and allowing you to form me through the struggles.
Father, I confess that I have been disappointed with you in the past, and by past I mean as recently as this morning. But that is my selfishness, and I am sorry. To paraphrase Job 38, who am I to question your wisdom with such ignorant words? Where was I when you laid the foundations of the earth? No, Father, I am here to be formed by you and your Holy Spirit. I am here to submit myself to you. I am here to then be your ambassador into this world. My life is not about me. It is here for you. I surrender it to you. Thank you for the goodness you show me. Thank you for giving me more than I deserve. Thank you for forgiving my sin. Thank you for being the God who sees me.
I offer this prayer to you in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,
Amen